Tiddles had the last laugh.
They were dressed in their finest and telephoned for a taxi but, when they opened the front door, their cat raced in under their legs. They knew the cat would wreak havoc if left alone in the house so James went back inside to fetch her.
While he was inside, the taxi arrived and Alice asked the driver to wait a moment or two. Not wanting to advertise the fact that the house would be empty in case anybody was watching, Alice said to the driver in a loud voice: “My husband won’t be long, he’s just checking on my elderly mother before we go out.”
With that, James emerged from the house and slammed the door behind him.
“Sorry I was so long,” he said to his wife, “that cute fecking yoke hid under the bed and I had to give her a couple of gentle taps with the hurley before I could haul her out and put her out the back.”
“Bastards,” muttered the driver to himself as he sped off leaving James and Alice scratching their heads in bewilderment on the pavement.