News of a potential tourism project was announced last week that could, if successful, create an estimated fifty jobs and attract an annual cash injection of €3m to an area in which it is located.

According to my source there is no reason why such a project could not be established in any one of a number of locations in County Waterford but, in fact, the first to try it out in this country is a group located in the Killala Bay area of County Mayo

As a commercial venture, the Grainne Uaile Subaqua Club intends to sink an old warship in the Bay to create an artificial reef for divers. Apparently, a ship has never before been sunk for divers off the Irish coast. However, three years ago, the first artificial reef in British waters was successfully created when the HMS Scylla was sent to the seabed.

The Sub Aqua Club has plans to purchase a small, former warship and sink it in Killala Bay further out from an existing small reef. The ship would be thoroughly cleaned to avoid any contamination and then sunk with an explosives charge. Within two years, the ship would be colonised by fish and then the tourist divers would start arriving. Sligo County Council has already given the project its blessing and talks are due to take place with the Mayo county manager who also needs to sanction the project before it can move forward.

‘Suicides by road crash do happen’

Suicide is a very emotive subject and it can be very painful and distressing for families of victims to discuss what happened to their loved ones. However, the former Labour Party TD and Clare based psychiatrist, Dr. Moosaje Bhamjee, created much discussion last week when he said, publicly, that motor accidents were being increasingly recognised in the psychiatric profession as a method of attempted suicide.

Dr. Bhamjee said he had dealt with patients who admitted attempting to take their own lives by deliberately driving off the road or into a larger vehicle. Stressing that the vast majority of car crashes were purely tragic mishaps, he said some were the result of people suffering the effects of severe bereavement or anger. Some of those people mistakenly thought the world would be a better place without them and that their family would benefit from an insurance payout.

Dr. Bhamjee said he could not say whether or not such suicide attempts were on the increase and admitted that there had never been a case of suicide on Clare roads brought before the County Coroner’s Court. In his experience, it was mostly males in the 21 to 35 age group that attempted such suicide although there had been cases involving older people.

Dr. Bhamjee pointed out that there had never been a study into such deaths carried out in this country but an exercise conducted in New Zealand in 1998 and 1999 showed that there was a significant association between drivers who had suicidal ideas, and were without current anti-depressive medication, raising the risk of ‘injury crash’.

An old fashioned betting coup

A recent National League soccer game between Bray Wanderers and Sligo Rovers was at the centre of what has been described as ‘an old fashioned betting coup’.

It is estimated the bookies lost about €100,000 and Paddy Power Bookmakers have admitted being stung for €50,000. The game in question was the end of season fixture between the two clubs played in Bray two weeks ago.

A spokesperson for Paddy Power said massive bets were wagered on Bray Wanderers to win the game. The betting pattern was highly unusual, he said, and was one of the biggest gambles ever on a National League match. Several bets of €2000 were laid plus many more of smaller amounts and they were all placed on-line from different parts of the country.

At one stage, Paddy Power became so concerned that the company suspended betting on the game for an hour on the afternoon of the match before restoring it later. Mind you, the odds did fall from 5 to 4 on for a Bray win to 11 to 4 on. It was a good, old fashioned coup and good luck to anybody who made a few bob on the outcome, said the Paddy Power spokesperson.

However, officials at Sligo Rovers are very concerned lest anybody thinks people associated with the club were involved. Chairman Michael Toolan said he was ‘one-hundred-per cent certain’ that nobody connected to Sligo Rovers had anything to do with the coup.

Rivals ‘celebrate’ but a harsh word in defeat!

(Warning. X-rated tale. Do not read if of a delicate disposition)

Last Saturday night, after Passage had defeated Dungarvan in the County Intermediate Hurling Final, a house party attended by a number of supporters from both clubs took place in a mansion not too far away from Waterford city centre. After dinner, the guests were chatting mostly about hurling but, probably because most of the people present were of a certain age, the subject somehow turned to the sexual practices of mature to elderly people.

The conversation followed the route one would expect with some people admitting problems and others exaggerating their prowess but the one person who grabbed everybody’s attention was a handsome, silver-haired man when he declared: “Like my father and grandfather before me, I was born and bred in Dungarvan and, like them, I still can’t get enough sex even though I’m 75-years-old.”

Eventually, the conversation moved on but one of the younger female guests, a beautiful, full-figured, Passage East woman, couldn’t get the silver-haired man’s words out of her mind. She decided she had to find out if he was spoofing or not and, after much eyelid fluttering and flattering attention, she ended up in bed with him.

“That was absolutely wonderful”, she gasped, after experiencing some of the best sex she had ever had. “You’re welcome”, said her elderly companion flashing a devilish smile. “If you want, we can go again after I’ve had a little rest but I’ll have to ask you to gently massage my ears while I sleep.” “Certainly”, said the young woman, intrigued at her lover’s strange request.

Half an hour later, the man woke up refreshed and, again, they made mad, passionate love. “Darling, you’re wonderful”, cooed the young woman, “but, surely, you couldn’t do it a third time.” “Of course I could”, grinned the man, “but, like the last time, I need you to very gently massage my ears while I have my forty winks.”

Again he awoke full of vim and vigour and, when they had finished, the young woman was deeply curious. “I have to ask you, is there some curative energy in my young hands that somehow transfers to you and gives you so much stamina”, she gushed.

The silver-haired lothario smiled his most lecherous smile before he replied: “Not at all, my dear, that has nothing to do with it. But I did want your hands engaged at all times because the last time I slept with a Passage woman she stole my wallet.”