“Joe is an outstanding talent, but there are other outstanding talents in that side: Damien Hayes, Kevin Hayes, Ollie Canning and Eoin Lynch all had great games. You don’t win anything with a one-man team.”


– Ballyhale Shamrocks manager Maurice Aylward on the youngest Canning and co after their defeat by a rocket-propelled Portumna last Sunday.


“This guy is small but he has the mental strength of a mountain.”


– ‘The Professor’ Wenger on broken-leg victim Eduardo’s two-goal FA Cup comeback against Cardiff. Which mountain might that be then?


“There’s two scenarios here. It’s an anagram isn’t it? If I get promoted I’m a god and if we don’t I’m a dog.”


Wolves boss Mick McCarthy knows his three-letter words as well as a few fours.


“I’ve got 10 or 12 assistants whose contracts are up in June. How can a manager lead a project properly if the continuity of his staff is not secure for two or three years?”


– That helpless cratur, Rafael Benitez and his poor army of apostles. Not exactly a dime a dozen either, I’ll bet.


“Ferguson controls everything in this country – these are the facts as everyone knows.”


– The paranoid Spaniard on that well-known Labour supporter. Someone tell yer men in Number 10.


“Yulia superstitiously distrusts hairdressers in London [so] we agreed that I’ll fly over to London when necessary. I’ve changed his style from glamorous Vidal Sassoon to simple ‘streetwise guy’ and I had no complaints from him or Yulia.”


Arsenal acquisition Andrei Arshavin’s hairdresser. From Russia with lots of mousse