And you thought Corrie was far fetched? Weatherfield hasn’t a patch on Tyneside when it comes to tragicomedy.

Former Newcastle United chairman Freddy Shepherd — who made stg£8.35m from the club between 1997 and 2005 — could well afford to defend Mike Ashley’s sacking of “decent” Chris Hughton and the bizarre appointment of Alan Pardew on a five-and-a-half-year contract. “I would have done the same,” Zero Cred Fred said, adding: “Remember, nice guys don’t win.”

Well seeing as the Geordies’ last trophy was the 1969 European Fairs Cup they’ve employed a lot of nice guys since. On the sideline at any rate. Thirty-seven to be precise. And counting.