The phrase “more money than sense” could well have been invented for soccer in the 21st century.

Manchester City’s Kolo Toure claims he failed a drug test because he took some of his wife’s diet pills. The fattest thing about the Ivory Coast defender is his salary, which makes one wonder why he couldn’t afford his own slim fast plan. He certainly has a weight on his mind now, but it’s not an excess of brain tissue.

And let’s face it: if Toure — who’s about as rotund as Ricky Hatton is anorexic — was a cyclist his lame excuse would be laughed out of the court of public opinion.