What was he thinking?. Gazza’s done some crazy things in his time but one doubts he’s ever (allegedly) been involved in assaulting a DJ (and affray, don’t forget) over his reluctance to give Phil Collins’ Greatest Hits a spin.

Possibly Steven Gerrard was, again allegedly, compelled to act the ape by the thumping gorilla beats of that ‘In The Air Tonight’ advert.

Kenny Dalglish has been among those forthcoming with a glowing, butter-wouldn’t-melt character reference for the Liverpool midfielder, though Mark Lawrenson is unlikely to have been among those dining with Stevie G in that Stockport eaterie-cum-nightclub. Lawro, he of the laidback Match of the Day manner, is no longer what one might call a confidante of the Reds’ skipper since his decision to divulge to Irish radio listeners that Gerrard had told him over a pint that Robbie Keane could be on his way out of Anfield during the January window.

The Irish striker reportedly confronted his club captain (with whom he shares an agent) with the inquiry as to what the hell he was playing at, and Lawrenson backtracked quicker than Bruce Grobbelaar having been caught off his line, or off guard by a ‘Sun’ sting, take your pick.

Anyway I digress, back to Gerrard’s penchant for Genesis drummer solo projects; an unlikely devotion for a Premier League ‘hardman’. As he might tell the judge, ‘all I wanted was Phil Collins, but I got The Police instead.’

The positive PR ‘Team Gerrard’ have put on his arrest and subsequent charging by Merseyside’s finest – ie, his ability to lead Liverpool’s title charge regardless – is in sharp contrast to the treatment his fellow Scouser Joey Barton might have expected in similar circumstances, and rightly so.

Barton’s a troublemaker first, a playmaker second. Gerrard is a superb player, albeit with an iffy taste in MOR pop-rock and a temper that he manages to keep in check most of the time. Just let the (right) music play and he’ll be fine.



Stevie G’s Fab 5

(from Phil Collins ‘Greatest Hits’)


‘True Colors’

‘Something Happened (on the Way to Heaven)’

‘Both Sides of the Story’

‘One More Night’

‘Take Me Home’