Waterford people have always taken great pride in the success of their own on the international front, be they sporting, cultural, political or other achievements. There really is nothing like cheering on ‘one of our own’.
Which is why I must take my hat (though maybe not my bra) off to Simon Keane from Dungarvan, who recently aimed to put his name in the record books for undoing as many bras as possible in a minute – with one hand. And he almost succeeded, too!
It’s a dilemma that has boggled the minds of generations of men and, in certain amorous situations, has the potential to make or break sexual tension. Since the bra was first invented, men have been grappling (literally) with the complexities of that mysterious hook and eye. But not Dungarvan’s finest, 27-year-old Simon. He apparently discovered some years ago that he had a rare gift amongst men – there was no bra strap that he could not master. This talent improved with age, so much so that he narrowly missed out on setting a new world record in the skill last month. Now there’s a great lad to invite to a party!
“It’s something I’ve always known I could do”, he told local press in Edinburgh, where he now resides and works as a property manager. “Then I read an article about the world record and thought, I could do that.” Fair play to you, Simon, it’s good to have goals (and I’m being sincere there, lest there be any confusion).
For the faint of heart amongst you, his efforts were to raise money for a breast cancer charity. His aunt died from the disease a couple of years ago and, as Simon correctly pointed out, most people know someone affected by breast cancer at some point in their lives.
His female friends were given the task of recruiting volunteers willing to be ‘unhooked’ for his feat and organising several practice runs in the run-up to the record bid. To do this, they approached random women on the streets of Edinburgh and the reaction was overwhelmingly positive.
The current world record, held by Dutch born Denis Storm, stands at 69, and although Simon achieved an impressive 74 during a practice run, the pressure on the night proved too much and his tally came in at 62 during his record bid. You mightn’t have achieved world class, but that’s still more than one per second Simon. Go on ya good thing.
With only around 40 ladies lined up around the bar of Finnegan’s Wake in Edinburgh, the first of the volunteers had to re-fasten their undergarments and run around to the beginning of the line to give him a chance at the record. Now that’s a sight many of our male readers would have loved to see. Afterwards, Simon complained that the light in the bar where the record bid took place wasn’t great, so that he couldn’t see a lot of the bras and hence found it difficult to unclasp them. Surely you must have learned your craft in the dark, Simon? Also, his sponsor who was supposed to purchase all of the bras pulled out just before the event so the volunteers wore their own bras and this created further problems for Simon “There were a lot of different bras with different openings, so I probably missed about ten every time which had to come off the total.” But sure God loves a trier.
Not to be dissuaded by his first attempt, Simon has vowed to have another go at the title but his chances of success would be far brighter if he had a sponsor. Now there’s an ‘up front’ opportunity for a creatively thinking local business.
Men of Ireland, take note: in an interview with Today FM’s Ray D’Arcy, Simon said the key to his success lies in a flicking motion between his thumb and index finger. You mightn’t be the record holder, Simon, but you could make a few bob giving classes, I’d say.