Across the various strands of authority in Waterford, the powers that be, like their counterparts in other cities, often engage consultants to advise them on matters of importance.
Fair enough, it’s often an expensive business but, if it produces the right results, the exercise has been justified. But what I can never understand is why the same powers that be appear to take little or no notice of public opinion articulated by ordinary but street-wise people from right across the spectrum.
The reason I mention this is that, in recent years at busy times, drivers in Waterford city, both locals and visitors, have been tearing their hair out in frustration at the traffic log-jams that occur on the Quay outside the Ulster Bank. The dogs on the street know the logjams happen when traffic is backed-up in one lane attempting to get into the riverside car-park and backed-up in the other lane by motorists trying to access the City Square car-park via Exchange Street.
The two entrances are directly opposite each other and it only takes a few minutes of tail-back in either lane to create chaos. The situation must be costing the traders of the city millions of euro in lost revenue because there are many, many people who won’t cross the bridge into Waterford from the north side of the Suir to go shopping on busy days such as Saturdays.
It is now mid-October and Christmas is approaching fast. On Saturday last the city centre was very busy and, hey presto, there was logjam at different times during the day when the tailbacks for both car-parks occurred. The would-be shoppers were annoyed and so were all the other motorists who were trying to drive up and down the Quay, a main thoroughfare, to go about their business.
In other words, we don’t need a team of consultants to tell us about one of the biggest problems affecting shopping-spend and traffic throughput in Waterford. Nothing has been done about it in previous years but, perhaps, this year it will be different.
High Court challenge re intoxilyzer
While there is no excuse for drunk driving there is nationwide interest in a case that is before the High Court at present. Hundreds of prosecutions are being held up pending the outcome of a legal challenge concerning the configuration of the garda intoxilyzer.
County Mayo solicitor, Cathy McDarby, stated the case on behalf of a client who is charged with an offence alleged to have occurred in the Ballinrobe district. The case, which goes back to March of last year, concerns an accused person’s right to have access to the source-code of the intoxilyzir that relates to the configuration of the machine. The defence maintains that, without access to the code, it cannot be proved that the machine is working properly. We shall see what we shall see!
Don’t talk to Podge and Rodge about Carlow!
The infamous Podge and Rodge returned to our television screens on Monday night all hot and bothered that their fellow presenter, Lucy Kennedy, had announced her engagement to her long-time boyfriend, Richard Governey, who is from Carlow.
The Carlow Nationalist newspaper high-lighted the happy news on its front-page last week and reporter Mairead Wilmot gave a good account of Richard Governey’s local connections, including the fact that he played rugby for Terenure and Leinster. There is no doubt that he is held in high esteem in his native place and that local people also approve of Lucy who is already considered an honorary Carlovian.
Mind you, the conscientious reporter might have made a mistake contacting Podge and Rodge for a comment. Their description of Carlow is unfit for a family newspaper and their comments about Lucy’s future husband are even worse. The nicest thing they said was that Richard was only marrying Lucy because he knew she would inherit Ballydung Manor and all their money when they died.
Howya Yasmin, two pints please and
mind the drips!

It seems some publicans in North Tipperary are extremely concerned at present because they are losing many of their customers to the Mid West’s first topless, rural pub that is situated just a couple of miles inside the Limerick border.
Yasmin, a topless barmaid, has been attracting scores of customers to Browne’s Bar in Montpelier which is a tiny village located on the Limerick bank of the Shannon just across from the village of Bridgetown in County Clare. According to locals, ever since Yasmin began serving pints, there has been a big influx of drinkers from surrounding towns and villages such as Birdhill, Ballina, Newport and even from as far away as Nenagh.
Browne’s Bar is run by John Joe Fitzpatrick who said business had been so bad he had been struggling to keep the pub going until he hit on the idea of a scantily clad barmaid. He said he had been accused of adopting vulgar and incorrigible tactics but his customers didn’t see it as such. He said there were plenty of women customers who admired Yasmin for her work and he also saw her presence as therapy for older men who were often full of beans and more romantically inclined when they returned home. Me? I’m saying nothing!
A young, eager beaver executive in a certain Waterford business was leaving the office for the night one evening last week when he spotted the chief executive officer standing in front of the shredder machine with a piece of A4 paper in his hand. Anxious to be noticed and to make a good impression, the young bright-spark approached his boss and asked if he could be of assistance.
“Thank you”, said the chief executive, who seemed visibly relieved at the young man’s presence. “This is a highly sensitive and very important document”, he said, holding up the piece of paper in his hand. “Can you make this thing work”, he added, nodding at the shredder.
“Of course I can, Sir”, cooed the young employee, as he deftly turned the machine on, inserted the document and pressed the start button.”
“Excellent, excellent”, beamed his boss, “you have been very helpful indeed because it really is vital that I deal with this matter tonight. I’ll need three copies, please!”
Two men were walking home from Flynn’s Pub in Ferrybank after closing time on Saturday night last and, as they passed the Grotto heading up the Belmont Road, they heard a tap-tapping sound coming from inside the cemetery wall. They looked over the wall and saw an elderly man with a long, white beard chipping at a headstone with a hammer and chisel.
“Hey, pal”, said one of the men hoping for a bit of fun at the old man’s expense, “we thought there for a minute we were hearing a ghost.”
The old man never even looked at the two lads and continued chipping at the headstone as he growled: “Feck off away with ye. I’m too busy for your fun and games. The bloody eejits have spelt my name wrong.”