Timmy and his wife lived in the Lisduggan area and she often sent him to the Waterford Shopping Centre to get some ‘messages’.

Last Tuesday, he was at the checkout counter when he realised he had forgotten to take along his shopping bag.

Timmy was a man who minded his pennies and was determined not to pay extra for plastic bags so he decided, with a bit of planning, he could manage the groceries.

To the amusement of the check-out lady, he placed the plastic bucket he had purchased on the ground. He placed his new potatoes and a 2lb pack of sugar in the bucket and carried it with his strong, right hand.

He put a pork-steak under his right arm and placed a packet of rashers into The Munster Express and slipped that under his other arm, leaving his left hand free to carry a frozen chicken.

Timmy’s plan worked like a charm and he was almost home when he was approached by an attractive woman who asked for directions.

“Actually,” said Timmy, “I will be walking past that address so, if you want to tag along with me, I’ll show you exactly where it is.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said the woman, “there are very few people about. How do I know you “won’t try and kiss me when nobody’s looking.”

“For feck’s sake,” replied Timmy, “I don’t want to kiss you and, anyway, can’t you see that I’m laden down with groceries and don’t have any hands free.”

“Well,” said the woman sweetly, “if you like, you could put the newspaper and the rashers under the bucket, put the pork-steak on top of the bucket and I’ll hold the frozen chicken!”